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What Are Your Barriers to Asking for Referrals?

by Bill Cates    

Many people don't ask because they've had a bad experience around referrals and they don't want that to happen to their clients.

It usually boils down to the F word... FEAR. Fear of rejection, or the fear that asking for referrals will some how damage the relationship you have with your satisfied client.

Like most fears, this one is a ghost. In fact, it's really a projection onto your potential referral source. It's a trick your unconscious plays on you. Since you're feeling awkward about asking for referrals, you think the other person will feel awkward being asked.

If you've done your best to be sincere, if you've served them well, and established a relationship of mutual trust, then your clients and referral alliances will not mind your request. In fact, they may be extremely happy to help you. Remember to foreshadow your request for referrals early on in the relationship; then it will be much easier for you to ask.

The truth is, because referrals allow you to serve many people you clients know, the referral process can actually strengthen your relationships with your clients.

Doing a good job for others, as opposed to just trying to make the sale, builds the confidence necessary to get referrals. Building a practice from referrals takes a true attitude of service.

When to ask is partly an intuitive thing. When you're not asking, just make sure in your heart that it's because the time isn't right, not because you're afraid (Wimp Junction).

Please, please, please don't let fear hold you back from this most powerful way to build your practice. Some people tell me they don't ask because they forget. I ask them if they often feel uncomfortable about asking for referrals. They usually say yes. I guess it's convenient that they forget; isn't it?

If you want to establish asking for referrals as a habit, I have a couple of suggestions for you:

First, bring an agenda to every meeting you have with a prospect or client. As you prepare the agenda, determine if this may likely be a good opportunity to ask for referrals. If it is, put it on your agenda in big letters so you won't forget. And make sure you manage the meeting so you have some time to bring it up.

Second, get a friend, colleague, or your boss involved. Tell them you need their help in helping you establish a new habit. Set some goals and ask them to hold you accountable. If you really want to do this badly enough, you'll find a way through whatever personal barriers are holding you back from your next level of success.


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Bill Cates is the author of the popular book UNLIMITED REFERRALS, UNLIMITED REFERRALS MARKETING SYSTEM® and is president of Referral Coach Intl. He is considered the nation's foremost expert and speaker on increasing sales through high-quality referrals!