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My Teenaged Parents! | |
Functioning as the caregiver of two adult parents, I again find myself baffled. But I am sure of one thing -- It's no wonder many caregivers die before the elders they care for! They simply wear out! Consider this recent exchange: ME: "How is that new medication working?" PARENT: "It doesn't work. I still feel sick." ME: "OK, call the doctor and tell him." PARENT: "I can't. He doesn't answer calls on the weekend." ME: "Well, someone does." PARENT: "No, they just tell me to go to the emergency room." ME: "OK, call the doctor's office on Monday." PARENT: "Well, he doesn't have anything better to offer." ME: "How do you know?" PARENT: "He never does." ME: "Well, call anyway, OK?" PARENT: "He doesn't pay any attention to me." ME: "He can't help if he doesn't know you're still sick. So, call, OK?" PARENT: mumbles something unintelligible. ME on MONDAY: "Did you call the doctor?" PARENT: "No, I'm feeling better today." ME: "Well, how about I go to the doctor with you?" PARENT: "No, I'm not a child. And I don't want you treating me like one!" I've run headlong into these issues more and more often of late. It's enough to drive you to drink - or whatever it is you do to deal with unending frustration. After all, these are my parents - and they are adults. . .or at least they used to be. Could I get help? You can guess the answer! Something about hell freezing over. I'm not about to win this battle, but I could use a friend during some of the more serious skirmishes. Here are a few things that could really lift my spirits: Come over. Don't send flowers. They're just something else to take care of. But a home-cooked meal would be great. Stay and serve it. Even greater! Call often. Not me, my parents. Give them someone else to vent to. Be a chauffer. Take them to the doctor, to shop, whatever. Just take them off my hands for a little while. Start a "Caregiver's Day Out" at your church, synagogue or temple. Give me a break - just a few hours would be wonderful. Suggest a companion from the Senior Corps. These retired adults spend 10-20 hours each week being a companion to shut-ins. If you're retired, consider becoming one yourself. Some people believe that life is a school with lessons for each of us. If so, my lesson is patience. I know I have to grow it for myself. . .but, please, rally round in the meanwhile. My patience cells are still infants! | |
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