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The Internet And Your Child

by Derek Randel; Gail Randel M.D.    

The Wilkins thought putting a computer into their sixth grade daughter’s bedroom would help her with her schoolwork. They were partially right. When Mom would enter Sally’s room she would ask how the homework was going? Each time Sally would respond the same way, “Okay.” What was Mom missing?

When sixth graders are together the conversation almost always turns to, “What is your screen name? I’ll instant message you later.” Then they discuss what chat rooms to meet in. These live chat rooms are where sexual predators cruise and establish intimate relationships with children.

WHAT ARE PREDATORS LOOKING FOR?

In order for the predator to become an online friend of your child, there are certain things they look for. Easier targets are those who appear lonely, have low self-esteem and lack parental supervision. They want the child to keep their conversations from the parents. This is one reason why children who are alone are most at risk.

WHAT CAN A PARENT DO?

If the Wilkins could go back in time before Sally had invited a stranger into her bedroom, what would they do differently? Here are a few suggestions:

Never allow a computer with Internet connection into their child’s bedroom.

Always have the back of the computer against the wall. This way anyone can see the screen.

Educate your child about online predators. Create an atmosphere of trust. See our article on communication located on our web site for suggestions about trust and communicating.

There is a difference between instant messages among friends and talking in chat rooms with people you do not know. These chat rooms should be avoided, these rooms are how they enter your house.

Recognize warning signs: hostility to parents, cutting off friends and activities, secrecy about the Internet, and preferring to be alone with the computer.

PORNOGRAPHY ONLINE

Your child has easy access to pornography online. It is very likely they will be exposed to this material without wishing to be. Internet porn is a $175 million per year industry. The average age now for a child to see porn online for the first time is 8 years old. Children are unknowingly enticed to visit porn sites. How is it done? Porn sites are using the name of the top 12,000 most popular kids toys in their Meta tags. Their goal is when kids use the search engines they will have easy access to adult sites. If your child miss-spells Britney Spears, he or she can end up on an adult site.

Parents can do the following:

Define boundaries for using the Internet.

Install parental control-filtering software.

HOW CAN WE KEEP OUR CHILDREN SAFER?

Educate your children about online surveys. They should never give out detailed information about your family.

Teach them not to chat with people they do not know.

Our children should know their boundaries and understand why their parents are setting boundaries. For more on boundaries contact us for our article on, “Boundaries, Why We Need Them.”

Teach your children skills on how to stand up to peer pressure.

Make sure your children have positive activities both online and offline.

Teach your child that it is impossible to know another user very well. What someone tells us isn’t necessary true.

The Internet is a wonderful tool. It can be used and abused by anyone. Understand that it is a tool that predators will use to reach your child. They can be shut out. As long as everyone in your family is careful and aware, the Internet will be a positive experience. If parents become actively involved in what their children are doing online there will not be any more visits to their child’s bedroom by strangers while you’re home.


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Derek and Gail Randel M.D. are the authors of “The Parent Manual” they have customized programs for corporations, schools, and parent groups for putting the fun back into parenting so you can enjoy your children. Visit them at their web site for their fre