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Conflict Management

by Lorna Riley CSP    

CASE #1 MANAGERS MUST BE MEDIATORS

A VP of marketing has a problem with 2 directors who constantly bicker. She often sees them arguing out in the hallway and her meetings usually run at least a half hour over because of their battles. Their areas of responsibility overlap at times, so their contact can't be reduced, but their combat is disrupting business.

Should the manager interfere or just let them duke it out? Handling this conflict is not interference, it's the manager's job. A manager is responsible for output and productivity of her team. Any energy that team members expend fighting one another takes away from their ability to do their job. A manager must take aggressive action to stop the bickering. In this case, the manager may start by sitting down with each team member separately. Tell them that the infighting is impeding the group's work. Stress that you expect each to be responsible for 51% of the relationship. That means putting more into it than you may be getting back in return. Resist any of their attempts to pull you into their past conflicts. Your only concern should be with the future relationship. Make clear that you don't expect your department heads to like each other, but you do expect them to work with each other, regardless of their likes or dislikes.

Let them know what will happen if the fighting continues. Spell out the specific consequences, including termination. After this discussion, show that you are intolerant of any repetition of the problems. At the first sight of a new outbreak, take the two of them aside and implement the next step towards termination. You may lose talented individuals, but you'll lose far more in the long run if it’s allowed to continue. Conflict is contagious.

CASE #2 THE FLIP SIDE OF FAVORITISM

For some reason, a boss just doesn't like one of his staff members. The employee does a good job, so he doesn't want to lose him. But as time goes by, the boss becomes less and less objective about the employee's work. The employee picks up on the boss's negative signals and acts in a way that only exacerbates the situation. For example, while the manager isn't a nitpicker when it comes to reports, he examines this person's report with a magnifying glass. This kind of scrutiny over minor issues creates more work for the employee in rewrites. When the staffer revises his reports, they're worse than they were in the first place. How can this cyclical pattern be broken?

The manager should focus on the most difficult and crucial step in copying with the problem: recognizing that dislike for an employee clouds your assessment of his work. You can't deal with the problem unless you recognize this. Work towards objective evaluation of the employee's performance. Ask yourself exactly what it is that you want from him. What should he accomplish and by when? Then establish a clear understanding of these goals between the two of you, and force yourself to concentrate on his work rather than on your personal feelings. For example, clarify what in your mind comprises a good report. Jot these down on a piece of paper and go over it so he doesn't want to lose him. But as time goes by, the boss becomes less and less objective about the employee's work. The employee picks up on the boss's negative signals and acts in a way that only exacerbates the situation. For example, while the manager isn't a nitpicker when it comes to reports, he examines this person's report with a magnifying glass. This kind of scrutiny over minor issues creates more work for the employee in rewrites. When the staffer revises his reports, they're worse than they were in the first place. How can this cyclical pattern be broken?

The manager should focus on the most difficult and crucial step in copying with the problem: recognizing that dislike for an employee clouds your assessment of his work. You can't deal with the problem unless you recognize this. Work towards objective evaluation of the employee's performance. Ask yourself exactly what it is that you want from him. What should he accomplish and by when? Then establish a clear understanding of these goals between the two of you, and force yourself to concentrate on his work rather than on your personal feelings. For example, clarify what in your mind comprises a good report. Jot these down on a piece of paper and go over it with the employee. Knowing these criteria in advance should help him (and others!) produce work that objectively meets everyone's level of expectation.

HOW WELL DO YOU MANAGE CONFLICT?

Answer the following:

When trying to resolve a conflict, you should first state what's important to you, and then ask the other person what is important to him/her? T/F

If you communicate to an employee that you are afraid he/she will act irresponsibly, that employee will try harder to prove to you that he/she is responsible. T/F

When the flow toward the resolution of a problem does not occur naturally, you should first suggest alternatives and then invite the other person to do the same. T/F

According to the "expectancy theory," there are three factors that affect an individual's choice between alternative courses of action. Which one should not be included?

level of effort

motivation

weight of the elements involved

outcome

Answers:

True — It's essential to state simply and clearly what is important to you and why, and then confirm your understanding of the other person's needs.

False —people respond not only to your actions, but also to your expectations. "Self fulfilling prophecy," is a natural result.

False — Because people are likely to be more committed to carrying out a solution they've developed, it's a good idea to let the other person suggest alternatives first.

(b) Motivation is not a stand alone factor influencing decisions. In fact, motivation is the result of an individual's beliefs about the level of effort the decision requires, how different factors relate to one another and to the potential outcome.


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Lorna Riley, CSP, is the president of the American Training Association. She can be reached at lorna@lornariley.com or 760-639-4020.