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12 Steps to Conscious Love - Part 1

by Robert Elias Najemy    

We can move towards a conscious love relationship by committing ourselves to consciously working towards that goal. We need to clearly understand what we kind of relationship we want to create and be willing to commit ourselves to that goal. This means choosing to work on ourselves rather than falling back into unconscious behavior patterns.

These twelve commitments free us to love our partner consciously without games and fears.

1. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO BEING AS OPEN AND UNITED AS POSSIBLE WITH YOU AND TO REMOVING FROM MYSELF ANYTHING, WHICH OBSTRUCTS THAT OPENNESS.

We chose to observe ourselves and discover when we are closing up, when we do not feel united with or open to the other and to work on getting free from any fears or mechanisms which obstruct our feelings of love and unity with the other.

2. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO PARTICIPATING FULLY IN MY PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION.

Our relationship is a basic part of our growth process. We grow, learn and evolve through our conscious contact with the other. We choose support each other in our growth process and will not allow this relationship to stunt our growth. We are simultaneously committed to the relationship and to evolving into better persons. The relationship should not obstruct growth and our growth should not separate us.

This is important because in many cases, we allow our relationships to impede our dedication to our inner growth and at others we allow our spiritual efforts to alienate us from our loved one. We need to harmoniously combine these two aspects of our lives.

3. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO TELLING ALL THE TRUTH IN EVERY SITUATION.

Only through truth can we create a love that is live and flowing. As long as we are not totally truthful, then we are living in fear. Perhaps we fear the other’s rejection or anger.

A conscious love relationship will eventually arrive to the level of inner security and self-acceptance so that we can tell and hear the truth without being hurt or offended. True love means being able to accept the other along with all his or her feelings and needs. True love means being able to share our inner world without fear.

Some symptoms revealing that we are hiding feelings or thoughts might be:

1. We may experience frequent headaches, a blockage in the throat are or a tensed jaw.

2. We may have difficulty in breathing.

3. There may be tension in the abdominal area or in the arms.

4. We may find ourselves avoiding the other.

5. We might be annoyed by the other’s questions.

6. We might find ourselves getting upset with the other for small unimportant reasons, which release pent up feelings that have nothing to do with the event that we are getting upset about.

Self-acceptance is a basic prerequisite to being able to recognize, accept an express our emotions.

From the book "Relationships of Conscious Love"

by Robert Elias Najemy